Dancing in the Sun - Part 1
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
PART 1
Ed. note/warning: This post is judgmental. Just so you're aware that I'm aware and know what you're getting yourself into.
First, let me say, I had a faaaabulous weekend in Sundance. It was an amazing and fascinating experience...
FRIDAY 3:15 PM - BURBANK AIRPORT
I am obsessed with Burbank airport and have often thought that I should fly out of it more often. It's small and manageable and easy. No waiting in security lines or check in lines, no walking miles to get to your terminal. So I was thrilled to be able to fly to Salt Lake City from Burbank.
Except this was no ordinary Friday in Burbank. In an airport where I normally breeze through security, I waited in line for 35 minutes surrounded by hipsters in skinny jeans and sunglasses, entertainment execs with bluetoothed ears and one completely dear older man who refreshingly had nothing to do with the business or partying and had no idea why the airport was so packed that day.
7:50 PM -SALT LAKE CITY AIRPORT
Salt Lake City is ten times worse than Burbank was. Holy shite. Is it this packed with every flight that comes in from NY or LA?
11:00 PM - T-MOBILE DINER TO SEE NIKKA COSTA
Nikka is a friend of my husband's and invited us to come see her do an acoustic set at the T-Mobile diner. The show was slated to begin at 11:30 so we decided to get there closer to 11:00 so as to avoid the crowds and the cold. We arrived at 11:10 to be told that the space wasn't ready yet and we'd have to wait...outside. In the 18 degree weather. Lovely. As we're waiting a stretch hummer (otherwise known as obnoxious on wheels) pulls in and out pops some random in a chinchilla coat with sunglasses on followed by his bleached blonde, fake tanned, tucked, sucked, and plumped entourage. One woman's lips were so big I couldn't see her nose. Another woman had on enough clothing to cover my 9 month old nephew. Did I mention it was 18 degrees out? Did I mention that I was going to be judgmental??? These people pushed their way in front of us, only to be informed that they weren't getting in yet either. (At least they didn't let 25 people in but make us stand outside...if that had happened, I would have left.)
About 10 minutes in, one of the PR chicks for T-Mobile comes out to give wristbands to those on the list. Matt gives his name and she gives us wristbands and tells us we'll still have to wait outside because it's not open yet. He asks politely how long it will take. She gives us one of those PR girl looks as if to say, "ummm - you're lucky to even be at this party buster." and says with all the attitude in the world, "I don't know but you can huddle around that heat lamp." We look over to the single heat lamp that already has thirty people huddled around it and Matt looks back at her and says, "Yeah - no thanks...we're not animals." Genius. Said PR girl sees none of the humor or irony in Matt's statement. It is here that I originate my word of the festival: clusterfuck. There is a clusterfuck of people standing around ONE SINGLE heating lamp. And did I mention yet that it's 18 degrees out?
Thankfully, five minutes later, we head in, get a great seat and wait for the show. We are surrounded by ski bunnies extraordinaire and NY club kids galore. So this is Sundance.
Nikka plays a genius set (if you're not familiar with this woman, get some of her music fast...she's AMAAAAAAZING) which is promptly ruined when aforementioned PR bitch comes over to our table to tell us that we'll have to get up because some of her T-mobile team has arrived and the table is for them.
"For them? There wasn't and isn't a sign on it."
"I know...but there was supposed to be sooooooooooo..."
"Sooooooo...we'll get up after this song is over. We came here to support our friend so we're not going to get up in the middle of her song. Thanks."
And we did. We'd had enough of the Sundance scene for the evening...
SATURDAY 10:30 AM - SHUTTLE TO SCREENING
The shuttle is wall to wall to wall to wall people. Clusterfuck. And the traffic is not moving. Apparently, not only has the entire LA party scene transported itself to Park City, but so has the 405. Finally we get off when a local tells us that we're about a 15 minute walk from the library theater.
11:30 AM - SCREENING OF MOMMA'S MAN
The theater is packed which is really cool. I've already been told about the movie -- that it's beautiful and touching but not especially commercial and painstakingly and intentionally slow in parts. I sit toward the back and center of the theater and watch the short that precedes the film. The short is sort of genius - animation set to a song about a tennis game between father and son interrupted by some hoodlums. Really clever and funny.
The movie starts. I'm totally biased but Matt is really good. His face is unbelievably expressive. The film is beautifully shot and both funny and poignant in places. And while there are about 20 minutes in the middle that are indeed painstakingly slow, it's clear that it's on purpose and so, I have to respect Aza's choices in film making...and that this is not one that will necessarily appeal to the masses but those to whom it does appeal will think it is fantastic. And so is Matt. I'm really, really proud.
1:30 PM - WHISKED AWAY IN A CAR
We're picked up outside the theater by the sweetest guy (who my husband, in true fashion, will later become friends with...) to take us to Main Street so that Matt can record a PSA for the Hallmark Channel. It's fun and he's good and everyone is really lovely. We talk to some women who have created a really cool organization called We Add Up - a non-profit based on the idea that you don't have to do EVERYTHING to help with the environment but if you choose one or two things to focus on, then you can make a difference. We're thrilled to realize that we do not one or two, but EIGHT of the things that add up. Cool. I like these ladies -- so check them out and see what you can do to help. We get handed some swag bags and are sort of overwhelmingly jostled through the hallways...before we're sent on our way back to the car to the next thing.
2:30 PM - CREATIVE COALITION CHILDREN'S READING
The car brings us to another Creative Coalition event. Creative Coalition is essentially a non-profit that helps bring together people in the arts to deal with pressing issues and influence the community. Sort of vague but a very cool group. We are greeted by two adorable and very cold (cold like the temperature -- not cold bitchy) girls who whisk us downstairs to intense chaos (clusterfuck). Matt's here to record a children's story for the Creative Coalition and as a thank you, they'll walk him through one of the famous Sundance gifting suites. (For those of you living under a rock, these are suites that are inhabited by all sorts of designers and products and they give away free things in hopes that celebrities will be photog'd wearing their stuff. Ridic.)
Anyhow, we're plopped onto a couch to wait and it is here that I truly see part of the Sundance spirit. There is a peroxide blonde who thinks she is all that but clearly is not loudly touting her credentials to someone who works with the group. She is in something that's at the festival that she also produced (although when I went to check later, I couldn't find her anywhere) and apparently has been in several dozen films (most of which I'm guessing were porn.) This woman is not interested in reading a children's book for charity (and according to her, was not informed that would be there). She is only interested in getting free stuff. She's told that she's welcome to walk around.
"So do we just get to take things?" she asks in a very fake and sweet high voice.
"No, that's not how it works. You go up to each booth and they'll choose whether or not to gift you."
Now, this sounds like it's obnoxious. However, what this woman doesn't know (and neither do I although I'm still impressed with how this is being handled by the very sweet and lovely PR girl,) is that after you do your reading, one of the lovely PR people (who are clearly of no relation to aforementioned T-mobile PR person) will take you around, introduce you to all the vendors and explain what you're starring in at the festival, making them want to gift you. But since this bee-atch doesn't want to do anything nice for the charity, she'll have no such escort.
Matt leaves to do his reading, and I get a front row ticket to the tantrum this idiot throws. She demands to talk to each and every person that she can possibly speak to. One woman explains that they have no control over what the vendors do or do not give away. She yells saying that she's offended that she was invited to such an event. She says it's like being invited to a party and being told you can't come in. After twenty minutes of this ridiculousness, she finally gets someone to take her around. The person that's come with her is so embarrassed that she opts out and decides to stay on the couch. After this INSANE display, I decided I'm going to take advantage of the bar. And have a martini. When I return, Matt has become best friends with two of the amaaaaazing PR girls, Tara and Sarah. They are adorable and can't tell us enough how nice it is to have two people there that are...well...nice. This is not the first time we will hear this during the weekend. Tara takes us around and I get some t's and a bedazzled shirt that I will never wear but my friend Jessica will devour. Matt gets a pair of jeans and most importantly, we get a ridiculous amount of Ahava products. Matt of course exchanges info with Tara who is now referring to my husband as her long lost cousin...and we're on our way to our next stop.
3:OO PM - TO THE DELTA SKY LOUNGE
It's time to actually see some friends! Matt and I head up to the Delta Sky Lounge to meet Phil and Jeff and Evan, to drink, and digest the day. I am in shock and awe that it's only 3 PM. It feels like it's midnite. And I'm starving. We hit the lounge and I immediately get some hot buttered bourbon. Delicious. As I'm waiting at the bar and ordering cocktails for myself and my husband, he heads upstairs and the woman sitting next to me asks how I know him. I tell her and she says she saw his movie on Friday and that he was incredible. This is waaaaaaay cool. I know it - but I enjoy hearing it from others. Can't help it...
I head upstairs and pop about 10 mini-crab cakes in my mouth since I haven't eaten since 9:30 that morning. After a short respite in the Sky Lounge, all 5 of us head back out into the cold to the NYU Alumni function. As we're leaving, there are all sorts of paparazzi parked outside the door. Some random girl asks Jeff if he knows who's in there.
"Ummm...I heard the lead actor in Momma's Man just left."
The girl looks at him with a blank stare. Jeff's favorite game has become dropping Matt's name everywhere as if you're a moron if you don't know who he is. This game is funny.
4:00 PM - NYU AT SUNDANCE
It's really freaking hot in here. But sure, I'll have a glass of sauvignon blanc...why not? I see many people with mac and cheese. It looks next level good. I am FAMISHED. The crab cakes did nothing. I start to make my way toward the mac and cheese but across the room I spy one of the stars of one of the tv shows I work on...his movie is premiering at Sundance in the dramatic competition. We make eye contact and I head over to say hello. He's honestly one of the SWEETEST men ever and I'm thrilled for him that his movie has made it to the festival. He's equally as thrilled for Matt...we chat for a bit and I head back toward the mac and cheese. When I arrive, it's gone. I am left standing there with a celebrity who is equally as distraught by the lack of breadcrumb and cheese ensconced noodles. We look at the waitress who points behind us to a boy with a plate overflowing with the cheesy goodness that we are longing for. The celeb and I look at each other and we both grab forks, tempted to dig into the boy's plate. But we do not. I settle for a biscotti instead. It's no substitute.
The event winds down and my feet are about to fall off. We hop on a shuttle back to the condo and devour the salsa rice chips that we got in one of our bags. They are amazing with sour cream. Then again, what isn't amazing with sour cream...then we all fall asleep.
10:30 PM - CAB TO MAIN STREET
We call a cab to go meet Jeff and his sister and head to a private mansion in Deer Valley. When we get outside, we see a van illuminated with Christmas lights and a disco ball and...A KARAOKE MACHINE. We sing Journey on the way to Jeff's house. It's definitely fun although the van sort of really smells and it's definitely hindering my enjoyment of the situation.
What further hinders my enjoyment is when Matt asks the two seemingly lovely girls why they're at Sundance and one of them responds, "To party - is there any other reason to be here?"
Yes. I'm serious.
11:15 PM - CAR RIDE TO DEER VALLEY
We drive up the winding roads to Deer Valley. One thing I think I've failed to mention is that this place is GORGEOUS. The snow covered mountains are so picturesque that sometimes I feel like I'm driving through a movie set. This area is just stunning and fantastic snow exposure for a girl who misses this time of year back east.
We have to park our car and take a shuttle so we huddle together with some cool Chicagoans while we wait. And technically, we get to the party early, early, early on Sunday morning...
MIDNITE - THE MANSION
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This place is INSANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I mean...ridiculous. Like nothing I've ever seen and yes, I've been in some of those Bel Air mansions and Manhattan penthouses. We arrive early, (Yes, midnite is early) grab a glass of champagne and go for a tour of the house. There is a racquetball court in the house. And a ski room so that they can put on their skis and take the chair lift up the mountain. From their back yard. And an indoor lap pool (which pushes water toward you as you're swimming so that you have to work harder in a small space) and a multi-leveled hot tub with water spurting out of the wall. And it's weird but this huge-ass mansion doesn't feel huge in the sense that it's very warm and cozy (which was helped by the ridiculous number of fireplaces that existed there.) We meandered for about half an hour and then realize that the people coming in are not exactly the kind of people that you would expect at a place like this. So we managed to snag seats on the couch for all five of us which is a perfect location to (I already warned you...) make fun of everyone that walked in the door. Because with the exception of a few producers and the Sundance Programmer (who totally validated the party for us), the entire party could have been at LAX (the Hollywood nightclub- not the airport.) There was the trio of ski bunnies wearing skintight sweaters and little pom pom hats with heels dancing on the fireplace mantel so to get the perfect back lighting. There were lips galore. That was all I could see of some of the women. That and their fake breasts. There was the couple that was grinding in the living room and making out for SO long that I was sure they couldn't have possibly realized they were in a public place. THIS was the ultimate clusterfuck.
30 minutes after we parked it on the couch we decided we'd definitely gotten our taste of the mansion private party scene and headed out into the freezing cold to head home.
1 AM - CAB RIDE HOME
We got into a cab with the greatest lady who turned and looked at us and said, "You guys are New Yorkers - aren't you?" This was the utmost compliment.
This was my first full day at Sundance.
Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 10:10 AM
Labels: the industry, travels, west coast prejudice
awesome.
i've been checking on and off all day to see if you had posted about dancing in the sun yet. nice term, btw ;)
i thoroughly enjoyed reading every single word, i love that you created such a scene that i could taste smell feel -- awesome.
thank you!!!!!