Take Me Back to Manhattan

Road Rage
Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I.

HATE.

DRIVING in LA.

Hate is not a word I use lightly. It's a very strong word. It's an ugly word. I don't like to be a person who hates. Ever. It's not healthy for a person to hate...it takes too much energy. And the truth is that I don't actually think I hate driving in LA as much as I hate DRIVERS in LA. But I DO hate drivers in LA.

Lately I've felt road rage at uncanny levels. It just happens. I'm driving along, minding my own business, listening to NPR when some total and complete ASS turns me into a hater. It's not even in my control. My blood pressure skyrockets, my face turns red, I feel my body getting hot and I want to SCREAAAAAAAAAAAM at the moron/jackass/idiot/stupidfreakingLOSER who must be so miserable in his or her life (and I don't mean to discriminate, but I've noticed that they are often of the male persuasion) that he doesn't have the wherewithal to let a person who has been clearly signaling into their lane. When traffic is barely moving. And there is a space. In fact, some of these imbeciles seem to speed up the second you start to pull into their lane and then lay on the horn as though you are endangering the lives of others and pulling into a lane where people are going 60 miles an hour when in fact they are going a whopping 10 miles an hour and can easily slow down to 7 or 8 when they see another car needs to make their way in. Why? Why would a person be such an ASS????? (and yes, I know I've already used that word on SEVERAL occasions but there's really no better description for this kind of human being.)

I can't possibly do justice to the scenarios I've encountered so I'm not going to try. But there have been far too many of them. I have found myself feeling road rage on a daily basis. Perhaps it's has to do with the fact that the TV season is up and running and I'm not just driving to work but also to breakfasts with agents and from studio to studio to visit sets. I'm in the car more. Which I suppose, gives me more opportunities to be around jerky drivers.

I miss the days of walking 10 blocks to a meeting. Even if it was 20 below and raining. I felt more secure that I wasn't going to be hit by some jerk as I weaved my way around the crazy cab drivers of NYC than I do on the roads of LA. And while I occasionally got annoyed with the tourist-y pedestrian traffic of Times Square, I'd take it over the losers on the 101 any day.

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 12:53 PM 1 comments    

Labels: driving, LA rant, laws of the road

Los Angeles Lessons
Wednesday, September 26, 2007

When I first moved to Los Angeles, I almost killed several people. It wasn't on purpose although I definitely met a few people that I had evil thoughts about. (Don't worry - I repented that Yom Kippur.) I had tremendous difficulty getting used to the pedestrians that crossed in the middle of the damn street. Doesn't seem right, does it? But it's totally and completely legal. And if I'd hit them, it would have been 100 percent my fault. Yes, you read right… and it’s important that you learn this now. Because your best case scenario is that you'll be cursed at and given the finger. My favorite were the pedestrians that smacked the back of my car when I didn't screech to a halt the second they decide they wanted to cross the street. The first time it happened, it sounded like something outrageous had fallen out of the sky and hit my trunk. I almost hit the car in front of me I was so startled. And if you fail to heed my words of advice, worst case scenario could land you in jail for vehicular manslaughter.

LA has very different laws regarding pedestrians.

You know the phrase, “Pedestrians have the right of way?” Well, Angelenos seem to take that insanely far. You'd think that, in a city dominated by drivers, pedestrians would cross on a red lighta t a designated intersection crosswalk just like they do in New York City. OK, OK, I admit that as a New York pedestrian, I didn't always wait for the crosswalk to light up with the little white person -but I did always make sure that there wasn't a freaking car coming at me 40 miles per hour down the street! In this city, where the number of motor vehicles outweigh the number of pedestrians about 150,000 to one, pedestrians ALSO cross at random crosswalks that appear in the middle of the street without any warning (or an intersection in sight). Oh and by the way, they also cross when there’s NO CROSSWALK AT ALL. And regardless of the speed you (or the car behind you) are going or how hazardous it might be, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO STOP. It’s bizarre, but EVERY car stops – like there’s some sort of force field around a pedestrian who decides – when three lanes of speeding traffic are coming at them – THAT is the perfect moment to cross San Vicente Boulevard. So learn it, and even if, as a New Yorker (or a person for that matter,) you think it’s ridiculous (because, um, it is), obey it. Because not only is it the LA way, it's also the law. (I learned that while studying for my driver's license written test, which you'll have to take repeatedly if you fail. And if you're laughing at me because I studied, it's time to stop. You'll soon be walking out of the DMV sans California driver's license because you thought you knew all the laws of the road. But we'll leave that another day.

So the lesson of the day is this: it doesn't make sense, but many things about this city never will. Yield to the pedestrians.

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 5:57 PM 2 comments    

Labels: driving, laws of the road