20-something bloggers
Sunday, December 23, 2007
I have to admit, I feel like I missed out. As far as I can see, there's no such thing as 30-something bloggers. I even googled it just to be certain. There are plenty of blogs pertaining to 30-something, but no sort of community or group. There's only 20-something and I can't join. And it leaves me feeling - dare I say it - old. I was 20-something once. I had all sorts of life experiences too. I was single and dating. I could hold my liquor a whole lot better. I could live in an apartment the size of shoebox and not care less. I could live with reckless abandon. I could not know what I wanted and feel sort-of ok about it (as OK as a type A personality can feel). I was tormented (ok - sometimes still am) and drunk and free of most responsibility (although I didn't realize it then). And now, because I didn't write it down, I feel left out of a generation. But only sometimes.
There are days when I revel in 30. There are days when I am fully aware of the fact that I am just beginning to enter some of the best years of my life. They are the best because I know myself better than I did when I was in my 20's. In some ways, I'm clearer about what I want and in others, to be honest, I'm less clear. Although I'm way more willing to admit that now. I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I've got a wonderful husband and true home that I'm proud of and love spending time in. I've enjoyed getting older. Mostly. There are certainly night when I long for the New York City streets, bottles of tequila, great friends, and the mystery of the next bar. But then, don't we romanticize what's past? I remember those days with great fondness, forgetting the torment and the distress that was often a part of those years. It's easy to look back and remember the great. And while there are many moments that I have to remind myself of this, I truly believe we are meant to live in the now.
But I still feel a little left out. And perhaps it's just because there's still a part of me that's nostalgic. There's still a part of me that revels in those rare nights out where I can stay awake until 2 in the morning. I still enjoy the man that flirts with me even though there's no mystery or what if's that accompany it. When I get time with my girlfriends, I am proud to admit how much I depend on them - for advice, for companionship, for laughter. I often still feel like I'm in my 20's - but like a fine wine, a little better with time.
Still, I can't help but feel a little like I've been discriminated against. Just a little. Or perhaps it's just that I'd love another day in the life of a 20-something.
Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 8:27 PM
Labels: drinking, introspection, musings on life, whilst drinking
It's interesting how our minds kind of protect us, when looking back in hindsight at a certain time, from the bad. The same happens to me. I guess that's a good thing though; a way that our subconscious is working to protect us.
Enjoy those 30's lady!