I raise my glass...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I remember the way that you'd talk about the price of grapes at the grocery store. I'd ask my mom, annoyed that the days coupons and groceries were the topic du jour. "Grammy's family owned a grocery store. That was her business at one time." I didn't get it then - but I get it now.
I remember using your breasts as pillows. You loved it- having a granddaughter on each side. They weren't breasts to me...they were Grammy's pillows and they were the warmest, safest place to lay my head.
I remember the way you'd give advice. I was having trouble with my now husband once, and at 83, alzheimers and all, you looked at me and said, "Michelle, honey, stop making such a big deal out of all of it. Just think of him like he's a very good friend who's going to be around for a very long time." You were so smart.
I remember our phone calls when I lived in NYC. "Are you flirting?" you'd say when you checked in. "Because you can't meet boys if you're not flirting." You made me laugh at the simple brilliance of your statement. You were right...how could I meet boys if I wasn't flirting?
You were a true matriarch. You were the mother of 4 kids whom you raised almost entirely by yourself. You had 4 children-in-laws that you treated like your own. You had 10 grandchildren and 2 great-grandkids...and you gave each and every one of us love. You were at every recital, every play, every sporting event, every graduation. Nothing was more important to you than your family.
I remember, when I was a little girl, the way you'd say to me, "How much do I love you?" and you'd raise your arms and say "Up to the sky." And you did.
You made the best fudge anyone's ever tasted, the most incredible apple pie. Your apple pie caused arguments when Uncle Michael would ration it out at Thanksgiving so that he could have enough for himself. "Don't worry, Michael," you'd say. "I made you a whole other one." You always took care of everyone.
Whenever we went to the movies, you would ask for "very little ice" in our drinks and I was embarassed. For years I thought of that and I'd cringe. But guess what...eventually I got smart and realized what you knew all along - that they fill the whole freaking cup with ice! Now I, too, ask for "very little ice."
Once, you paid for our entire meal in coupons at Friendly's. You loved a good bargain.
You could laugh at herself. A couple of years ago, Matt and I went home to visit you and you came out to greet us in the hall.
"Mert!" you said.
"What Grammy?"
"Mert!"
"You mean Matt?"
"Oh..." quiet for a moment and then a little giggle. "Matt!"
You got this fabulous look on your face when you were enjoying great food. You'd look at us out of the corner of your eye, almost as though you were doing something you shouldn't be doing...and you'd quietly smack your lips a few times.
You were the cutest woman I know. You always had a twinkle in your eye. And you were stubborn as all get out but we all learned something from your willingness to look at things from another perspective every now and then. And you danced at my wedding, Grammy. You were determined to - and you did.
I know it was time and I'm glad that you don't have to suffer anymore. Although no one can say you lived an easy life, you lived a very full life and you were loved more than you know. But it's never easy to say goodbye, never easy to lose someone you love so unconditionally. Who was so warm and so wise and so close to your heart. You were always there for me, Grammy, no matter what. You were such a phenomenally special woman and I am honored to have had the time with you that I did. And I'm grateful to have had someone in my life who loved me...loves me...the way that you did and always will.
So I raise my glass to you, Ruthie. I raise my glass to you.
Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 9:49 PM
Labels: family
Well said my friend, well said
Your "Grammy" was my "Auntie Ruthie."
I cried when you spoke at her funeral, and again, I cry as I read your words. We who knew and loved Ruthie know how loved we were by her. I, too, raise my glass--- both to Ruthie & to love.