Ten Days in Burma - Part 11
Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Finally, after what felt like hours of wandering through the Bangkok airport, my eyes landed on a familiar face. I stopped for a second. I stared. I smiled. I had found him. We tentatively walked toward each other and he hugged me. I could feel my body shaking against his.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

“No,” I replied. “Just tired.”

Liar. Liar, liar, LIAR. OF COURSE I WAS NERVOUS. I was so nervous I felt like I was going to PUKE. But noooooooo, I had to look good. Calm, cool and collected. God FORBID he should think that perhaps I was HUMAN!!! This was not the movie greeting I had imagined. He did not kiss me passionately and hold me tight like he didn’t want to let me go. All of the feelings that I’d had for the past 45 days - of knowing someone so well, of needing to be with them again – all of those feelings were gone. Vanished into thin air. I felt like I was with a stranger.

We got into a cab with an insane Thai driver who enjoyed turning around to look at us more than the road. I don’t know what he was saying either but he was talking the entire time in a very high pitched voice. I kept smiling, nodding my head and pointing toward the front window where he should be looking. If we’d been in an amusement park on a ride that had safety precautions, it might have been fun. Given that we didn’t even have seat belts, it was not. If I’d had any common sense, I would have closed my eyes so that I didn’t have to see the 50 cars, guard rails, and buildings we almost crashed into. (If I’d had any common sense I wouldn’t have flown to Asia.) But I was overwhelmed with the city around me – the lights whizzing by, the sounds of the Bangkok night. I was here and I wanted to soak in every second of it. Even if it meant seeing how many times our driver missed the guardrail by centimeters.

By the time we got to the motel, I thought I wouldn’t care less what it looked like. I just wanted a place to drop my bags before we got some food and a beer. But when we entered our room, I took immense comfort in the fact that we would only be staying there for the night. It was dark, a little dank, and fairly shady. I’m not a princess but I like nice things. I don’t mind staying in a Marriot Courtyard if I MUST, but I prefer a boutique hotel and a Four Seasons is even better. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t have to be expensive just clean. And nice enough for me to feel comfortable walking on the floor without shoes on. Ok, so maybe I am a little bit of a princess. Is that so wrong?

I found myself wondering where Claire Danes had been taken in that movie that Billy talked about. Whatever, I told myself. Suck it up and stop being such a princess. It was only for a few hours. It was already midnight. Our plane to Yangon left early that morning.

We were staying close to the Red Light district, otherwise known at Pat Pong. This is the place where men line the streets asking if “You want see sexy lady? You want see sexy lady shoot golf balls out of pussy?” No, actually. No, I do not want to see sexy ladies shoot anything out of anywhere, I thought to myself as we were accosted several times on our way to grab some food and a beer. On second thought, how often do you get to see anyone shoot golf balls out of their pussy?

We opted out of the “sexy sexy” bars and went for some pad thai instead. I eased into the booth, ordered my familiar food, and we started to talk. Or rather, we attempted to talk. It was bizarre. If I’m being truly honest, it was painfully uncomfortable. Emailing had been so easy. Our first date had gone so smoothly. But this person whom I’d felt so comfortable with seemed like a complete stranger…perhaps because he was. Conversation was strained. I couldn’t find anything to talk about. And the harder I tried, the more strained it seemed. This was NOT how the movie was supposed to go. How had we had enough to email about at LENGTH for the past 45 days, but we couldn’t manage to get out more than a few words now? I took a deep breath and decided to chalk it up to hunger and exhaustion.

We walked back to the room, took a shower and got into bed. I was in a bed with someone I barely knew. And it felt that way…for both of us.

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 2:12 PM  

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1 comments:

megabrooke said... September 16, 2008 at 8:29 PM  

oh boy....

(im the same way about wanting to be able to walk on the hotel room floor sans shoes. ick. i just want it to be CLEAN.)

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