10 Days - Part 9
Thursday, September 11, 2008

After a few more days of contemplation and a few more opinions from most everyone I knew, I did, indeed, decide to seize my Meg Ryan moment. In my heart, I had known all along that despite the war and despite SARS and despite the fact that it was INSANE, I was going to go. The whole thing was playing out as a movie in my head…every step of the way. I pictured our reunion in the airport – the music swelling as our eyes met, passionately kissing, completely unaware of the people around us. I anticipated sharing romantic dinners complete with perfect sunsets and days of sightseeing and holding hands. I went so far as to imagine the story that would be told at our wedding of how we met. I told you - I have an active imagination…

Although I was trying to embrace my adventurous side, I knew Burma Boy had me beat in that department when he asked if we could travel through Hong Kong and Shanghai. What’s so adventurous about that? It was smack dab in the middle of the SARS epidemic. I was trying to be adventurous – not stupid. After several anxious hours trying to figure out whether or not I should just call the whole thing off, I wrote Burma Boy that, while China was a country I’d love to see someday, that day would have to be when it wasn’t being featured nightly on the news for a deadly disease with no cure. I eagerly (also read anxiously) awaited his reply, knowing that the person that I should take the effort to go visit would understand my concerns and tell me that we could do something different. If he wasn’t open to doing things differently, I knew I wouldn’t go. After all, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone who was completely set in their ways and didn’t take my needs into consideration. (Yes, I was getting way ahead of myself…but if you’ll recall, I had already started thinking about the speeches at our wedding. So how does this surprise you?) So why was I anxious if I had already decided what I was going to do? Well, I really wanted to go…so I WANTED his answer to be the one I hoped for.

I was not disappointed when he suggested that instead of China, I could fly into Thailand and that we would go to…you guessed it…Burma! for a few days and then finish in Phuket for some rest and relaxation. Along with the fact that both countries had fewer outbreaks of SARS than the US, I was just happy that my future husband did have some flexibility in his nature.

Despite the fact that he’d thought it might be otherwise, the air force base in the Philippines where Burma Boy was learning to fly was internet friendly, and I received daily emails from him. We wrote about how much we missed each other – and how odd that seemed to us. At the time, I thought I was truly missing someone with all my soul. As it turned out, I had no idea what that felt like yet.

I spent several days plotting how to break the news to my parents that I was going to Asia “to see about a boy”. A boy whom I’d failed to even mention to them. Though they took it better than I expected, they were obviously taken aback and bombarded me with fifty million questions.

How did you meet him? Mutual friend lie. Also lied and said we’d been on a “couple” of dates.

What does he do? Easy. He’s an investment banker in business school in Japan.

What do you like about him? What do I like about him? He makes me laugh…and he’s adventurous…and smart…and… I just need to know.

It helped that he was Jewish (a fact they did not know – given that they didn’t have full disclosure about how we met.) And despite their trepidation, they believed that I was responsible and had a good head on my shoulders. (Clearly they had NO idea…) I booked my ticket.

Approximately 15 days before I was set to fly halfway around the world for my highly anticipated second date, I spent Passover in NYC at my Jewish home-away-from-home. In 2001, I had been invited by my friend, Lisa, to Rosh Hashannah dinner at her soon to be in-laws house. I accepted and was there for many Jewish holidays thereafter. The entire family truly became my home away from home. In addition to Lisa’s future husband, they had another son – we’ll call him Long Distance Boy. Lisa had suggested quite early on in our friendship that I should meet him - she just thought we would click. Initially, I thought Lisa meant for us to be friends, but as I heard more and more about Long Distance Boy from everyone in the family, I realized that, despite the fact that he lived in Los Angeles and I lived in NYC, no one intended for us to be friends. I was intrigued.

In April 2002, I finally met Long Distance Boy at a bar after Lisa and David’s rehearsal dinner. I was standing with a group of people when I felt an arm around my waist and heard someone say, “Who are you? You’re the cutest girl here.”

I turned my head to find myself face to face with an absolutely adorable boy. I knew it was him immediately from the pictures I’d seen all over his parent’s house. I was certain that he’d been told about me but Lisa later explained that if anyone had so much as mentioned me, he would have had zero interest. And they clearly hadn’t mentioned me, because he did. Long Distance Boy flirted incessantly all evening. He gave me his number and told me to call him when I was in LA in a couple months. I did, but we never quite managed to connect.

I didn’t see Long Distance Boy for an entire year but I heard about him through Lisa often. I had thought about him often as well…until Burma Boy. For the entire month leading up to Passover, I didn’t think about him once. Until I got to Passover and there he was. And he looked great. I’d had no idea he was going to be there. And did I mention he looked great? I found myself nervous around him. Excited nervous. Long Distance Boy walked me home that night on his way to go meet a friend. And for the first time in a month, from the time I saw him that evening until he left me at my doorstep, I forgot about Burma Boy and the fact that I was getting on a plane in 15 days to be with him. In fact, I forgot about it for the rest of the night as I contemplated our ambiguous conversation about long distance relationships. Was this a stomach flip?

But Long Distance Boy did leave me on my doorstep with a kiss on the cheek, and the next morning I woke ready to plan my trip again. I got my visa and I consulted my Lonely Planet guide that Burma Boy had so sweetly and thoughtfully sent to me. We loosely planned our trip via email - where we would go and when. We didn’t make concrete plans, but that was ok. Burma Boy had spent so much time in Asia, that I was happy to let him take charge.

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 4:00 PM  

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1 comments:

Hillary said... September 11, 2008 at 4:32 PM  

I am loving this. You write so well. I am eagerly anticipating the next installment!

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