MIA
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I'm not feeling it these days. I mean, I'm feeling lots of things. But my attempt to put the thoughts swirling in my head into words on a page has found me staring aimlessly at my screen wondering what I was attempting to do in the first place.
And it's not just that I feel like my writing sucks (because as some of you know - or at least I know - I am an overly critical person on my best days and downright judgmental of and hard on myself on my worst.) It's that nothing is coming out. Nothing.
I can't even come up with a list of things I could write about. My head is spinning with the already memories of our trip, making plans for the holidays (yes, I am a totally neurotic and insane planner. I own it.) among other trips, trying to decide if we should get Thursday a friend to keep her company because as fabulous as we are, only dogs speak dog.
And yet, amidst all this, I've been remarkably present. Remarkably in the now. Remarkably aware of the lack of control I have over MOST of the things in my life. And remarkably, I've been ok with all of this.
It's leaving me with little angst and perhaps that's where my lack of intelligent prose has been locked away. With my angst. I can't say I miss it so much. I'm enjoying it. But I know me and you know me and of course the angst will return. Probably with an insane vengeance.
I hope, however, that my ability to write shows up again before the angst. Until then, I'll keep staring until it hits me, as it did today, to acknowledge the fact that I've been very MIA.
Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 6:02 PM
Labels: daily, on bloggers and blogging, random thoughts
enjoy your holiday from angst :)
hang in there lady. know that i will be here, eagerly awaiting your return, when you are ready.
xo
I'm feeling similarly, although for very different reasons.