Note to self
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Dear Meesh-
Apparently you need a little reminder: you actually aren't Superwoman. I know it's shocking and hard to believe but it's true.
Part of what you need to fit into the 24 hours of a day is actually sleep, which is sort of an essential. You clearly found this out this morning when you thought your alarm that went off at 6 AM (for that yoga class that you were definitely NOT going to miss) was part of your dream. I'm not sure if you remember, but when you finally realized it was actually occurring in real life, for a few moments you decided that you'd rather listen to the annoying sound than make the effort to move to turn it off. The "can't miss" yoga class quickly became a "can't drag my ass out of bed" yoga class. In fact, when you finally did reset your alarm, you slept until 8 AM and to be honest young lady, that still wasn't enough.
Why were you so exhausted Ms. Meesh? Well, it seems that, on your way to the grocery store at 8:30 last night, you forgot that you'd already been up since 6 AM.
Let's take a look at your day, shall we? You left your house at 8:15 for an 8:30 breakfast meeting followed by a full morning of script reading at work. You raced to the chiropractor at 12:15 to help with the constant ache around your left shoulder blade. Dr. George cracked you in ways that you hadn't been cracked before, which, if you'll recall, generally leaves you exhausted. Clearly, you didn't recall. From there, you got in a quick stop at the dry cleaners and then got back to work where you stayed until 7 PM when you had to leave for your 7:30 therapy appointment. You decided to squeeze in a quick stop at Whole Foods to return a few things which sent you racing to therapy so that you wouldn't be late. Did you ever consider that the stuff didn't have to be returned to Whole Foods in that moment? I know, I know...it's seemed convenient and efficient. And took away even a moment of down time that you might have gotten in your car before you proceeded with evening. But hey, down time is for lazy people - right?
You pulled up to therapy, raced out of the car and sat on the couch for an hour discussing the fact that there are more things in your life that you have little to no control over than the things that you do and the fact that this concept occasionally makes you panic. You left feeling that small weight lifted off your shoulders that you often feel when you leave therapy. You left feeling fairly relaxed. This would have been a perfect time to call it a day. You could have been home by 8:35 and had time to actually unwind for the day, perhaps take a moment to relax and catch up on In Treatment or Top Chef.
Instead, you decided that it was a perfect opportunity to go check out the new Fresh and Easy that had opened in Hollywood. After all, you'd been intrigued since hearing about this concept when it opened in Eagle Rock. Fresh produce coming from as many local places as possible at lower than most any supermarket prices. You needed groceries and they were open until 10 PM! So what if it meant battling Hollywood and Highland traffic, having to go into a parking structure to park. You opted to forgo your hatred of parking structures to check out something new. Oh - and on the way, since you passed Bevmo and they were having their fabulous 5 cent sale, you figured you might as well stop in to do that on the way! You had 20 minutes before they closed and you took every second of it to choose your wines. You ran back to your car with 6 new bottles of wine for the price of 3 and headed to your next destination. You pulled into the Fresh and Easy garage at 9:11 after Hollywood Blvd almost made you turn around and go home. For once your lack of patience was pushing you in the right direction and you simply refused to listen. You perused the aisles of the grocery store (enthralled by the insanely low priced, no additives pantry staples) and finally arrived home to a pitch black house at 10:15.
Your first stop at home was the bathroom since you'd had to go since you left the office at 7 but alas, hadn't found a moment to do so. I would ask that you realize that there's a bit of an issue when you fail to leave time in your day for the bathroom. By the time you unpacked your groceries and sat down to eat dinner, it was 10:43. You poured yourself a glass of red wine, sprinkled your half avocado with kosher salt and filled the middle with white wine vinegar while you waited for your steamed shrimp dumplings to heat up in the microwave. (A microwave, I might add, that you rarely use anymore because you actually prefer to cook FRESH food.) You could barely believe your eyes when you realized that it was 10:43. When you finally sunk into your couch to actually relax, the clock read 11:02. As your body finally started to release the tension of the day, you realized that, if you were going to get up for yoga, you really needed to get into bed, which finally ended up happening at 11:22.
I know you feel accomplished. After all, the prices at Fresh and Easy were sort of amazing and thus far, the produce has been nothing short of delicious. You got 6 really good bottles of wine for a total of $40. Your thinking was that if you got it all done, then you could truly enjoy your weekend, not have to think about dinner the next few nights, cross several things off of your to do list.
But Meesh, do I need to remind you that just last week when you went to get your passport picture taken, you were a bit shocked and horrified by the look of the bags under your eyes? Do I need to remind you that, in the month of March, you spent 4 days in NYC barely sleeping, all the while telling yourself that you'd sleep when you got back to LA? When you got back to LA, you threw a birthday party for 40 people for which you spent the 2 days prior cooking until the wee hours of the morning. YOU ARE TIRED. What is the point of making an appointment with a chiropractor to fix the aches in your back if you are going to run around like a fucking MANIAC who thinks that the 24 hours in the day should all be productive? What is the point if you can't make it to your yoga classes which are the only true way that you feel sound - both in mind and body? What is the point of having a full fridge if you're too exhausted to make anything in it?
You don't need some fancy cream to get rid of those bags and you don't need some magic potion to help you get out of bed to go to yoga. You just need to SLOW THE HELL DOWN. And now, I'll put my soap box away - but don't you dare use it to do laundry...that can wait until tomorrow.
Love,
Me
Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 10:51 AM
Labels: letters, yeah...i'm a little bit crazy
meesh, i havent read your blog since my arrival in the 3rd world where internet is sparse and let's face it, the loading of a web page takes ten whole minutes which required patience i only today was able to cultivate, yet i am so glad that this is the one i opened up and read... mainly because i am reading (reading? wrong word, more like breathing) eat.pray.love and one of the things I adore about it is that she writes herself these letters, these love notes, which are so important in life and so rare, and even though i wouldn't have minded a tiny bit more compassion for yourself at the end of this one, i applaud you for taking the time to do that for youself. to mother you... because we all need to do more of it. on that note, we all need to not feel so crazy about doing it also. so i am here to write you, hoping that it matters at all that i have taken the time to do so, that i have waited the 10-15 minutes it has taken me to be able to do this, because i want to express some love across the many oceans and people and stories and drama all so foreign and familiar that lie between us right now...
xo xo xo
This post completely exhausted me. Yes, slow down! Don't get sick!