Take Me Back to Manhattan

Lately it seems the thoughts are coming so quickly and rampantly that they start to overlap each other. They accelerate as though they're going downhill without breaks but by the time I get myself to the computer, they're gone. There are remnants, general themes left swirling around. But the lines of prose that popped into my brain as I walked down the street or watched my friends from a slight distance or breathed deeply in downward dog...they're all gone. Poof. Disappeared into thin air and I can't think of anything remotely smart or interesting to say.

I think some of it stems from my lack on anonymity. There are things that I'm not sure I want to share with those that know me as much as I am willing to expose to the few dear readers I have that only know me from my words on the page. Because with those that are just a part of each others lives via the blogosphere, there are no attachments or expectations. We read each other because something grabs us. Because we can relate to each other or because we entertain. We experience new and different things through each other but also, we relate to each other and feel less alone. We sometimes live vicariously, but we also live parallely. There are no judgments or expectations. I feel good when something great happens for them. I can relate to many of their wants and hopes and fears. I read other blogs and they're anything but simple, but my relationship to them is simple. They are simply a name attached to a whole world that I get to know and see solely through their eyes. I read them with compassion and desire to know more. To understand who they are and what they are experiencing in their lives. Sometimes I long to reach through the internet and hug them, tight and close - the kind of hugs that people don't give often enough these days. Not one of those half hugs or the hug where they stand with their body about 200 feet away from yours and then gently tap you on the back with their other hand. Hugs are meant to wrap two people together. Sometimes I ache so deeply from the words of another person that I read that I want to wrap my affection around them and give them a hug. Sometimes they bring me to tears with their ability to expose themselves, to relate their worlds and their wants and their hurts and their triumphs so brilliantly.