Ten Days in Burma - Part 4
Thursday, August 28, 2008

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

On the afternoon of December 31, 2002, I sat on my therapist’s couch and cried because I was going to spend yet another New Year’s Eve alone. My therapist managed to convince me that bad dating was better than no dating at all. If I wasn’t dating, there was absolutely NO chance that I was going to meet Mr. Right. I argued momentarily that it also meant I would steer clear of Mr. OOOOOOOOOOH so wrong...but I knew in my heart she was right.

I spent the first afternoon of 2003 creating a new profile for Jdate and reading it aloud to my amazingly supportive roommate, Nicole. Thankfully I was dealing with someone who understood, since she met her fabulous boyfriend online. I was not thrilled about this whole thing, but I knew that I needed to start dating again and I decided I was willing to give Jdate one more shot.

My first bad date was with a 37 year old man who was NOTHING like his profile (yes, this is a pattern.) I met Older Man for a drink at a swanky hotel bar. I knew it was over the second I sat down. It’s amazing how the witty banter you read on an email changes when you actually hear the other person’s voice saying it. Things are completely different when your imagination is reading an email – especially when you’re like me and have an extremely active imagination.

However, a nice change had occurred during my hiatus from dating. I realized that I didn’t owe any of these men anything. I realized I didn’t have to kiss anyone good night or stay on a date longer than I wanted to. It didn’t mean I wasn’t going to be civil, but it did mean that first and foremost, I was going to take care of myself. It may sound obvious, but for a girl who is a bonafide people pleaser, this was all new to me and it took time and practice for me to exercise my rights. So when Older Man attempted to kiss me, I made it clear that I was glad to have met him but that I wasn’t interested any further. Older Guy was un-phased and overly confident and even after I told him this point blank - as in "It was really nice to meet you, but I don't think we're a match,", he went in for another kiss. I picked up my bag, said "what part of NOT INTERESTED don't you understand?" and went home.

Then there was Dancing Man who brought me to a tapas bar (I know, I know...DINNER AGAIN!??! Slow learner.) We showed up at 9:30 PM and he told me he had a “surprise” for me at 11:30. That was two hours from the time we sat down. Aforementioned surprise was that the tables get moved, a live Spanish band comes in, and everyone starts dancing. Fun, right? Not with a guy who I had just had 2 hours of strained conversation with and who I had ZERO attraction to. Although I was moronic enough to actually wait for the “surprise”, I exercised my newly found power of choice and chose not to stick around and dance.

There were others leading up to Michael, but it seems I’ve blocked most of them out. Michael - the boy who broke my heart shortly after Burma Boy and I became pen pals. Remember him? And although Michael and I were reconnected via Jdate, we had actually met through one of my best friend two years earlier. So I already knew he was smart, he looked like his picture, he was fun, and we got along. It was not a typical Jdate.

My point in discussing all of this is that as my date with Burma Boy approached, I began thinking about all of these catastrophes and going out with someone I met online was becoming increasingly less attractive. I had visions of strained conversation, zero chemistry, and a purely painful evening in my head.

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 6:05 PM  

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1 comments:

megabrooke said... August 28, 2008 at 8:11 PM  

i swear, i am totally hooked on this.

like, on the one hand, i want to hear all the deets on how it all happened, but at the same time? i dont want this little series to end!

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