One Year
Monday, May 26, 2008

"You know, when I was 19, Granpa took me on a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down. Oh what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was always so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so excited and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it." -Grandma in Parenthood


Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 12:00 PM 4 comments  

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So Hum
Thursday, May 22, 2008

I write the best blog posts in yoga. When I'm in warrior two and I'm not supposed to be thinking of anything at all, these amazing blog posts come into my head. And as I hear the teacher say, "Just notice the thoughts and let them go...clear your mind." I end up thinking, "NO! NO! I don't want to clear my mind!! I need to remember this...it came beCAUSE I had a clear mind...but now I need to remember so that I can actually WRITE when I get home...

But then I leave yoga, and the writing is no more. My brain is suddenly completely void of the seemingly brilliant thoughts that were flowing through my head as my body flowed through a vinyasa.

I love how spell check tells me that I've spelled that last word wrong. It's suggestions are as follows: Kirinyaga
vinyls
vineyards

WHAT THE HELL IS KIRINYAGA? They know the word Kirinyaga and they don't know the word vinyasa? Someone needs to bring spellcheck into the 21st century.

Anyhow, my brain has been busy - finishing a paper for class, planning trips to Barcelona, getting ready to go to Napa. It hasn't had much time to come up with anything great to write about here. It hasn't really felt so inclined. Except, of course, mid-yoga.

You know how, as a child, anytime you were told something was off limits, you wanted to do it more? I think that's what my brain does during yoga. It's told to just be...and it starts out that way. It takes on the meditation "So Hum." So on the inhale, Hum on the exhale. I am truth. But then So Hum starts to become ho hum...and my brain starts to think. Involuntarily!! That's the moment when I realize that I made two appointments at the same time for next Thursday. That's the time when I remember that I missed someone's birthday or that it's in two days. That's the time when I remember the thought that I could not FOR THE LIFE OF ME get back during my conversation the night before. And lately, it's been the time that I write blog posts. If my brain could mentally telepathize those posts here, you'd be riveted.

But in the meantime, you'll have to trust that someday, those thoughts will come back and they'll materialize here. Until then, I'm off to Napa for the weekend. I'm sure I'll have much to discuss upon my return.

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 4:11 PM 1 comments  

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Musings on a plane ride from coast to coast
Monday, May 12, 2008

Apparently Samantha is living in LA.

I found this out last night on the plane ride back from my 36 hour jaunt to Boston for Mother's Day. I bought Vogue because SJP graced the cover and even though I still mourn the fact that she's not half as cool in real life as Carrie is, I couldn't resist anything having to do with Sex and the City. Yes - that Samantha.

There is a line in the article that reads: In the story, all the girls have moved on: Samantha is living in L.A., Charlotte is settled in with her adopted Chinese daughter, and Miranda...is married and living in Brooklyn.

As I read "Samantha is living in L.A.", all of a sudden I had tears spilling over onto the page. I practically rolled my eyes at myself. It wasn't enough that I've cried EVERY SINGLE TIME that I've seen the trailer for this stupid movie. Now I was crying at a magazine article? What the hell???

Well, I'll tell you what the hell.

Things change. Even in Sex and the City things change. Yes, their lives were always constantly shifting - men, jobs, apartments. But through it all, they were together. In New York City. When Carrie moved to Paris for four episodes it was impossible that it would ever last...she was obviously going to move back. Because while everything else around them was constantly changing, Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte stayed put.

But things change. And Samantha goes to LA.

I got an email from a friend of mine who's still in college. She just got back from Semester at Sea. She wrote that she hasn't been able to stop crying since she got home. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up slightly in acknowledgment as I read her email. It wasn't a smile per se. It was an understanding. An ahhhhhh, yes. I recognize her ache. I have felt that too on so many occasions. The end of camp. The end of college. The end of a show. Moving to NYC. Moving from NYC. The end of wedding planning (ummm - RIDICULOUS but true.) It's the feeling of wondering how it could it possibly ever be better than this moment. The fear that it will never be as good as this again. And ultimately, the realization of exactly how special the moment you were just in actually is.

Things change. Samantha goes to LA. And I did too.

But here's the thing.

Those moments DO happen again. New ones. Even better than the last ones. Or sometimes different. We will forever long for those days (of college, of early 20's, of whatever...). Or I. I should say I. I'm speaking for me. But if I stayed in those moments that I end up mourning, I don't think it would stay special. I don't think I'd continue to appreciate it. And within those little microcosms, things would begin to change too.

So it's true that nothing lasts forever. That dreams change and trends come and go. But at the end of the day, the most important part of all of that is that the best friendships never ever go out of style. They, too, may change. Shift. Perhaps have growing pains. Some may fall by the wayside from missed communications or just growing up and growing apart. But there are people that just become a part of your chemical makeup. That I can say with the utmost certainty, will be a part of my life for the rest of it. No matter the location, no matter the situation. My Samantha and Charlotte and Miranda, my Anthony and my Stanford will be around. Forever.

Those friendships will never, EVER go out of style.

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 5:27 PM 2 comments  

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A Love Letter to Ina
Monday, May 5, 2008

I read cookbooks. Like cover to cover.

This is a shock to me. I had no idea that I was going to grow up and be a cookbook reader.

This evening I came home from work and my Amazon.com shipment had arrived. It contained three books:

1. How'd You Score That Gig - a book that was promoted in my "Daily Cents" email and I just couldn't resist given my influx of career thoughts these days.

2. Colin Cowie's Chic- I recently bought this for a close friend for her birthday and it was nearly impossible not to keep it for myself. So I did the next best thing and bought myself one too. How do you resist a book with PERFECT advice on home, entertaining, travel, and work from one of the most fabulous gay men alive???

3. The Barefoot Contessa at Home- which brings me to this post. You know how Sesame Street is brought to you by a letter? Like the letter Q. or R. or any of the other 24 letters. This post is brought to you by the Barefoot Contessa.

When I opened the package, I stared at all three and contemplated - but I was immediately drawn to Ina. And I didn't just turn to the recipes. I wanted to read her introduction. I WANTED to. Ummmmm...I am a cookbook introduction reading 32 year old woman. AND I LOVE IT.

I'm only 40 pages into her 249 pages of delectable delights but I'm already dreaming of dinner parties with perfect margaritas (no margarita mix!!!!) and pan-fried french onion dip (made ENTIRELY from scratch) and most importantly lots and lots of laughing. And warmth. Ina talks about a home filled with warmth. Where people walk in and they feel like family. And that's why I love Ina. Sure, her recipes are amaaaaazing. Next level. Truly my favorites. I know if I cook Barefoot, I'm cooking a good meal. But the Ina's philosophy rings true for me even more:

"A good home should gather you up in its arms like a warm cashmere blanket, soothe your hurt feelings, and prepare you to go back out into that big bad world tomorrow all ready to fight the dragons....Sure it has to make (myself and my husband) feel comfortable, but equally important, it has to make my friends want to drop by."

This. This is the philosophy I want to live by. This is what life is about. Having a home that feels like a home to each and every person that comes here. With chairs that they can sink their bodies into and food they can sink their teeth into and conversation they can sink their souls into. This is what life is about.

I'm 32 and I read cookbooks. Excuse me now. I have to go finish...

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 8:48 PM 4 comments  

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I don't do lines
Friday, May 2, 2008

I don't do lines. And btw, I'm not talking about grocery store lines or movie lines. I'm talking about get into a club for an acquaintance's birthday party line. Call me what you want - a snob, stuck up, a bitch (I call me smart)...but I don't do lines.

Tonight I went to STK for said acquaintance's birthday. Oh - and click on that link to be officially disgusted (when you get there, click on the STK link). I can save you a trip if you'd like. First you'll see a woman's calf so defined (by photoshop clearly) that you might want to puke. If that doesn't do it, your gag reflex will definitely kick in when you see the piece of raw meat hanging off a captain hook hand. Next up is the picture of bright red lips bighting into a chunk o' filet. This is supposed to be sexy by the way. Lastly is the lovely shot of the spike heel digging into the bright red bloody beef. V. I. L. E. And I like a good steak. But seriously? This is revolting.

Oh and also, did I mention I had dinner here on Tuesday night? And it was actually surprisingly good. After seeing the website I was highly skeptical but I ended up being pleasantly surprised. So when I was told to "swing by" said birthday party I figured why not? I had no idea that STK had an entirely different section that is a bona fide CLUB. Yes I'm TOTALLY out of the loop. Entirely.

I should have gotten the hint when the valet line was 10 cars long. But I just figured I was dealing with a bunch of lazy ass people and found myself some street parking. However, when I walked up, it was like I was at an entirely different restaurant than I'd been to on Tuesday night. That's because I was no longer at a restaurant. In true LA nightclub fashion, I found myself surrounded by women plastered in makeup, wearing heels too high for them to walk in, leaning on the arms of men pretending to be more important than they are. I bypassed this scene and headed into the restaurant, certain that there must be some sort of mistake. I pushed my way past paparazzi standing like vultures awaiting the possible prey that might come out of one of the aforementioned cars valeting.

In the safety of the restaurant, I called my friend to see where they were. I should have known I had it all wrong since my husband couldn't hear a word I was saying when I'd called him earlier. (Why wasn't I with him? I had a dinner party with some work colleagues earlier in the evening and agreed to meet him there after. Huge mistake. HUGE.) So I tried Amy, only to find that she couldn't hear me either. She said something about looking for me on the patio. And I turned around to come face to face with a patio resembling a sardine can. I knew I was not going to be a happy person, but still...I opted to give it a shot. I went up to the guy at the patio entrance and told him who's birthday I was there for.

"There's a guest list at the front door."

A GUEST LIST? FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

I walked back out past the vultures and took one look at the slew of people lying in wait to get into a place where no one could hear each other talk and where moving from one side of the room to the other would take at least 20 minutes and decided to go home. I knew I could make my way to the front of the line and someone would come out and get me. That I wouldn't actually have to wait in that line if I didn't want to.

But to what end? So I could go see my friends but not hear a thing they were saying? (That is if I could even FIND them in the ridiculous crowds inside...) So I could get sandwiched between people hoping to get noticed or shoved between two drunk morons? So I could lose my voice attempting to say "excuse me"? So I could get to the bathroom and wait in line for 20 minutes to pee? So I could say I was at STK last night? So I could "see and be seen"? Ummmm...let me think about this for a moment. Can't think of anything I'd rather do less.

Lines=Clubs=so NOT fun. I don't do lines.

Posted byMeesh-elle my Belle at 10:24 AM 2 comments  

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